GORTICIAN Sues Metallica and Dr. Dre
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Published · reached Usenet April 22, 2000
New Amsterdam, Louisiana Saturday, April 22, 2000
DeathGrind sensations GORTICIAN are suing Metallica and Dr Dre, the group's spokesperson Bob Arctor announced today. "Metallica and Dr. Dre have betrayed the principles they earlier espoused. In fact, Metallica's "Kill 'em All" and N.W.A.'s "Straight Out of Compton" were highly influential on the group. Now, with those bands prancing around in bed with Sony, shitting on the poor idiots who listen to them, GORTICIAN is seeking damages." Arctor declared. "These bands have hurt the credibility of all metal and rap artists, and if our sales are going to suffer as a result of their inanity, they gots to pay. They gots to pay."
GORTICIAN, who have never sold a CD, ever, along with drummer/erstwhile rapper High-C, still foolishly believe in providing music to those who want it, lawyers be damned.
"We want enough money to record "Transmigration into Hell", Metallica to wear long-hair wigs when they perform, and also to block the reformation of N.W.A. without Eazy-E", Arctor added.
Bitch-ass James Hetfield and ghost-written rapper Dr. Dre were unavailable for comment.