Farrakhan smitten by mysterious illness

The Associated Press Sunday, March 21, 1999.

Authorities surprised everyone Sunday morning by taking Jesus Christ, Son of God, into custody to be questioned in the smiting case of Nation of Islam leader, Louis Farrakhan. Farrakhan, who many hoped would be pushing up daisies by now, is reportedly still hanging on. "There is no need to expect the imminent demise of the Honorable Louis Farrakhan. He isn't going anywhere," Dr. Abdul Alim Muhammad said at a news conference. Christ, who was led away in handcuffs and shackles, refused to comment on the incident, but sources close to the saviour insist it is only a matter of time before Farrakhan assumes room temperature. "Whatever little Jesus wants, little Jesus gets", quipped one christian insider who wished to remain anonymous.